Of ball gowns and body bags

US spending on planned Inaugural Balls: $40 million

US spending on tsunami relief: $35 million.

Murder Capital: Denied!

Well, it truly is a sad day for Chicago. We are no longer the murder capital of the United States. Hard to imagine that last year there were over 600 murders in Chicago. This year there were less than 450.

I guess we can all go to feeling safe in the big city again.

Merry Christmas... a day late

I'd like to wish all of my faithful readers a very merry Christmas, happiness for the remaining days of the holiday season and all good things in the upcoming year.

The quick brown fox does indeed jump over the lazy moon

Okay, here's one for you.

Open up a Word document and type =rand(200,99)

Pity the lottery winner

Apparently, money can't buy happiness.

Life, love and the Bears

Is it possible to eat too much turkey or have too many Christmas meals?

Today we are having our office Christmas lunch. Another meal of turkey, potatoes, etc. This comes the day after a very large Christmas dinner with my friends before we go home for the holidays. We had a project group Christmas dinner on Thursday. Of course, I still have the memories of a very tasty Thanksgiving a couple of weeks ago.

All of a sudden, I'm a pretty popular guy though. Went out on Thursday (office Christmas thing), Friday (new flatmate's birthday party), Saturday (football match and dinner), Sunday (Christmas dinner with friends), Monday (another office Christmas thing), Tuesday (going away party for a friend)... I'd go on, but I don't want to bore you with my popularity.

Of course, it might just be the season...

Oh yeah, and the Bears lost. 22-3 to Jacksonville. What a bunch of losers. Maybe if they actually won the games they should (or could possibly) win, they might be in a more fortunate position.

Did you know that...

Nepal has been going through a civil war for eight years?

I like to consider myself fairly informed. Surely, I am not the most up-to-date guy on the block but I know more about the world than your average Joe. But I had no idea that there was a civil war going on in Nepal and that it has been raging for eight years. I read this story in the New York Times.

10,600 people have died and according to the article, tens of thousands of children have been abducted and forced into indoctrination camps by Maoist rebels fighting the government. Democracy was introduced in 1990, and in 1996 the rebels took up arms. Maoists occupy 2/3 of the country and have blockaded capital Kathmandu for months.

It ain't easy being at the top

Working in London, I get a number of light-hearted anti-American forwards. There have been a couple going around the office in the past few weeks, precipitated, I assume, by the reelection of President Bush. The first one was quite funny; apparently it is a modified form of an original piece by John Cleese. It says something along the lines of the Crown will reestablish rule of the United States. The usual stuff: American English vs English English, American football vs world football, etc.

There followed a rebuttal by a witty American. And then there was a children rebuttal to the rebuttal, which was, at best, idiotic.

But let me say something about the sports stuff.

Yes, we play a sport called football which is unlike the sport of the same name that the rest of the world plays. But, Australians have their own football which is not too unlike American football and no one complains about that.

Yes, our football players are covered in padding. But cricketers wear three-feet high bamboo ankle, shin, knee and thigh pads and a face mask and a helmet and finger guards and soccer players wear shin guards yet they cry and flail on the ground every time they get kicked.

Yes, we play a sport called baseball that culminates in the World Series. But, the Major League Baseball gathers the best players from around the world to play in the United States. There are players from many Asian nations and almost every South American, Latin American and Carribean country.

As my friend Josh says, the rest of the world should be happy that we don't play more sports than we already do! Isn't also true that when it comes to sports, the ones that we do play, we win almost all the time? Look at the 2004 Olympics. No one came close to our accomplishments. We had more gold medals than all but five countries had total medals. We are a little less accomplished at the winter Olympic sports, but we came in second in the medals table, winning 34 (next to Germany's 35).

Even in the football World Cup, we managed to scrape by into the quarter finals. I mean, that put us into the last 8. We were grouped with Portugal (who went on to place second in Euro2004) and South Korea (who placed 4th overall in World Cup 2002). I mean, it isn't like we were playing against Saudi Arabia (0-3) or Solvenia (0-3).

All this, and we don't even like soccer! Image what it would be like if we had the entire country playing soccer.

So, scoff all you want. Make your childish little barbs. Take issue with us all you want. I know, deep down, that what really bothers these people is that the US reigns supreme when it comes to producing sports stars and terrific athletes.

The wise, departing words of Tommy Thompson

Hey, thanks, Tommy!

WASHINGTON, Dec. 3 - Tommy G. Thompson, the secretary of health and human services, announced Friday that he was resigning, and he expressed grave concern about the threat of a global flu epidemic and the possibility of a terrorist attack on the nation's food supply.

"For the life of me," he said, "I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do."

The 12 days of Christmas

According to this article, the cost of celebrating the twelve days of Christmas is going up.

I am a little confused about this song. Obviously on the first day, this person's true love game him or her a partridge in a pear tree. Now, on the second day, this person's true love gave him or her two turtle doves. The singer goes on to sing again about the partridge in a pear tree. Are we to assume that on the secon day this person's true love gave not only two turtle doves but also another partridge in a pear tree?

Does that mean that by the end of the twelve days of Christmas, this person't true love dished out:-

12 drummers drumming
22 pipers piping
30 lords a-leaping
36 ladies dancing
40 maids a-milking
42 swans a-swimming
42 geese a-laying
40 golden rings
36 calling birds
30 French hens
22 turtle doves, and
12 partridges in (12) pear trees?

That is one high maintenance true love.

Post it and they will come

Okay, okay... I'm sorry for not posting. I can see that you guys aren't visiting any more. The first rule of blogging is blog often. You can blog crap, but you gotta do it. I've been working on some stuff about the Ukraine that I just can't get right. Maybe I should just post it and then think post more later on. Anyway, I apologise.

My mark of success

In this work-a-day world, how are we to measure success? Some measure it by fortune, some measure it in non-monetary, non-material terms.

I have to admit going both ways, of flip-flopping because I am, afterall, a Democrat. There was a time when I thought Donald Trump was the coolest guy on earth and that was before The Apprentice was on television. I think it had something to do with the fact that my mom subscribed to Money magazine in the '80s, when extravagant, no holds barred, money making was en vogue -- before Wall Street came out and savings and loans scandals topped the headlines. I was going to be the richest person in the world but I didn't know that I had to, you know, do stuff for it. I figured it would just kind of happen.

But then I rejected that world for the asceticism of philosophy. That was short lived because, in short, I'm not really smart enough to make it in phil biz. I have friends who are/will do that for a living, and they are about a mile ahead of me. Also, philosophy just doesn't pay the way it used to. I mean, the kings of Europe aren't hiring court philosophers the way they used to. Those were the good old days.

Anyway, I've gone back and forth but I've hit on the only reliable measure of success: I want to be in a position where I am a necessary, integral part of a meeting, but have enough stature so that if I fall asleep in the meeting, no one would dare say anything to me about it.

So, I guess success is, in some way, related to stature. Not objective stature, but relative stature. I might be a Senator, but if I am the most junior Senator and I have a razor thin majority in my state, then I best stay awake in meetings -- party leaders and whips, those guys can afford to catch a couple of winks. If I am the leader of the local PTA, then you had best keep mouth shut if I fall asleep. 'Cause if you give me any guff, I will end your PTA career faster than butterball chows down on cafeteria fish sticks.

Tyson Chandler, Republican squawk box

From the Chicago Tribune Sports Page

"Chandler and Curry still want that responsibility [of resuscitating the Chicago Bulls]. Perhaps that is the reason both are so frustrated by Skiles' move to bring them off the bench. It certainly is behind their perception that the team is now more centered on perimeter-based players like Deng, Hinrich, Nocioni and Gordon.

"If that's their wishes, then that's what they need to do," Chandler said. "It can't be flip-flopping. If that's what it is, that's what it is."

See, even Chandler is quoting Karl Rove.

Rick Steves cleaned out by gypsies

LISBON—Rick Steves, host of the PBS series Rick Steves' Europe, was robbed by gypsies while wandering the labyrinthine streets of the Alfama Monday. "These quaint but rickety sailors' quarters no longer house salty men of the sea, but they do play host to a colorful array of vagabonds," Steves said, clapping along to a band of dancing Roma children while his watch was being stolen from his backpack by their mother. "Peak time for seeing these lively characters is before sunset, as darkness attracts a less savory element to the area." Bonus footage of Steves getting mugged by a street punk in Berlin will be available on the Season 3 DVD anthology.
-- from The Onion

The Halloween barrier

Don't let anyone tell you that Christmas is more "commercialized" in the United States than anywhere else.  If anything, it is more so in the United Kingdom.

Take, for example, the fact that the bakery near my flat put its Christmas lights up in the middle of October.  Take, as another example, the fact that an air freshener company has been pushing their Christmas scented sprays (i.e. the smell of a gin-soaked Santa), again, since mid-October.  Finally, Woolworths has been bombarding us with their commercials featuring a wolly sheep and some other animal pushing Christmas deals on mobile phones since... that's rights, mid-October.

I know why this is.  In the UK they don't really celebrate Halloween.  They kind of celebrate it, but it isn't ingrained in their national consciousness the way it is in the United States.  Hell, in Detroit, they burn each other's houses for Halloween: that's dedication.

But, since it isn't an important event, it isn't something that is really marketed.  There are Halloween sale events, but not like in the US.  Because Halloween isn't seen as a consumer bonanza, marketers move straight from their autumn/winter commercials straight to Christmas.

I can't really recall ever seeing a Christmas commercial before Halloween.  Halloween is the barrier between autumn sales and Christmas sales.  Perhaps Thanksgiving used to be the barrier in olden days or days of yore, but with the rise of Thanksgiving Friday to the most active sales day of the year, stores must advertise well before Thanksgiving begins.

Flushed with excitement

Today is World Toilet Day.

Fajitaficated tuna? In a sandwich? Never!

I'm not adventurous when it comes to lunch. Ham on white, some mustard, chips (crisps), a Coke. That is all I need; that is all I ask. Usually. Today though I took a walk on the wild side. When the sandwich man came around, I peered into his plastic bag and decided on the Tuna Fajita sandwich.

I gambled and lost.

The sandwich is, in a word, gross. I'm trying to trace down the reason for its grossness.

Looking at the ingredients list reveals some clues. Listed first is tuna -- good sign. The next ingredient is fajita -- problem. I was always under the impression that fajita is an ends, not a means. You can't add a li'l' bit o' fajita essence to something, like coffee, to give it that extra something. Fajita is the end product: strips of marinated meat wrapped up in a tortilla. So, by definition, fajita can't be added as an ingredient to dish because fajita isn't an ingredient at all!

Perhaps they meant the spices that go into the marinade for the meat. Sure, that would make more sense, but not enough to convince me. The spices that go into fajitas really aren't all that different from other Mexican dishes. The key element is the process of cooking the marinated meat and then wrapping it in the tortilla. So, fajita is more of a process than it is a mish mash of spices.

Now, could you call the process of making a fajita fajitafication? Sort of like the process of making shrimp scampi is scampification? Has the tuna been fajitaficated prior to being put in the sandwich?

In any case, this sandwich has thoroughly confused yours truly. It is definitely not a candidate for the Salvador Deli.

The Cubs of yore

Ah yore... That sure was a good time wasn't it. Maybe not as good as olden days, or as good as days gone by, but days of yore were always good days indeed.

The Cubs of yore were hot. Hotter than your average tamele in fact. Here is a list of the hottest Cubs players of all time.

All of the 1984 Cubs, some of whom are listed below
Manny Trillo, Dallas Greene
Goose Gossage, Tuffy Rhodes
Chico Walker, Ryne (Das Ryne Valley) Sandberg
Bobby Dernier, The Sarge
Hector Villanueva, Delino (Double D) Deshields
Shawon (o-meter or Schwing) Dunston
Michael Tucker, the sweet sweet swing of,
Ron Cey, "Livin' Large" Lloyd McClendon
Jody Davis, Glenallen "Scotty" Hill
Keith Morland, Wavin' Wendy Kim - coach
Vance Law, John Vukovich - coach

Honorable mention
Fred "Creaky Bones" "Nail in the coffin" "Walkin' Dead" McGriff
Matt "Fatt" Stairs - wanted to erect a Krispy Creme doughnuts stand next to his position

Who cares about a lously grand jury indictment?

This is really unbelievable.

House Republicans are looking to change a rule that restricts members from holding leadership positions if they are under grand jury indictments. The change would allow a member to hold a leadership position.

The move is prompted by the impending state grand jury indictment of House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX). It is alledged that Delay illegally used funds to promote a state redistricting plans. Delay was also admonished by the ethics committee after asking federal aviation authorities to track a plane full of renegade Texas Democrat legislators last year. Three political operatives closely associated with Delay are currently under indictment.

Who came up with the rule? Well, Republicans did, about a decade ago, when Dan Rostenkowski (D-IL), chairman of the House Ways-and-Means Committee, was under indictment.

But, now that one of their own is suspected of malefesance, well, time for a change. Hey, it is only a state grand jury indictment. What's the big deal?

Oh yeah, and Delay gerrymandered the Texas districts to help the GOP win a larger majority in the House. What I love about this is that House GOP members aren't even hiding the fact that the redistricting efforts of Delay are behind this.

I guess when you are in power, you can do whatever the hell you want to do, no matter how unethical, underhanded or devious... or illegal.

A Republican balanced budget amendment

I don't have enough time to do the requisite research, but can anyone tell me how it is possible that Republicans proposed a balanced budget amendment in the mid-1990s and then went to on approve a budget written by a Republican president that sent federal spending into orbit while at the same time cutting taxes necessary to pay for it all?

Presidential aspirations?

I shall not confirm or deny anything.

But, I will add this to the debate...

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I got a gal in Kalamazoo
Don’t wanta boast but I know she’s the toast of Kalamazoo-zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo
Years have gone by, my, my, how she grew
I liked her looks when I carried her books in Kalamazoo-zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo

I’m gonna send away, hopping on a plane, leaving today
And my dreamin’. I can hear her screamin’
Hi-ya, Mr Jackson, everything’s OK-A-L-A-M-A-Z-O
Oh, what a gal, a real pipparoo
I’ll make my bid for that freckle-faced kid I’m hurrying to
I’m goin’ to Michigan to see the sweetest gal in Kalamazoo
Zoo-zoo, zoo-zoo-zoo
Kalamazoo

K-A-L-A-M-A-Z-O-O
Oh, I gotta gal, a real pipparoo
We’re going to Michigan to see the sweetest girl in Kalamazoo
Zoo-zoo-zoo-zoo-za-zoo-za-zoo-za-zoo-zoo
Kalamazoo

Changes in Democratic leadership -- the readers write!

Concerned reader Anonymous made this witty comment to my entry regarding the possible changes in Democrat leadership.

I suppose I have a couple of things to say about that. I'm not really sure if the GOP would love that, in fact I don't think they would really notice. They wouldn't notice until the new leaders actually do something different.

And, as far as the "amendment against homosexuals," I suspect you are referring to the Federal Marriage Amendment, which Karl Rove said the President is recommitted to passing. I just don't think this will ever pass. First off, neither house will ever muster the 2/3 needed to get it to the states, and there is no way that 3/4 of all the state assemblies will ever ratify it. There just isn't that much party-line political support. Right now Democrats control both the state senate and state assembly in 16 states, and in it is split in another 17. There is no way it would ever pass if, and this is an important if, the elected officials stuck to their party.

As for the rest of the statement, well, what I can I say? I'd quickly dismiss the writer and other's of that ilk as if it didn't mean dismissing so many people. But the hate filled anti-gay movement in the United States has reached such a level that one cannot simply dismiss its followers. The followers have one thing in common: they are weak in the mind. They have no arguments, just rhetoric. And, it isn't even good rhetoric (although I must admit to chuckling at the the slogan "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.").

It is lazy and mindless, just like those who believe it.

I do believe that Anonymous is outnumbered, that most people in the United States are caring, open individuals. They aren't taken in by the empty, amoral rhetoric of the religious right. Anonymous, and others like him, are not qualified for life in a liberal democracy that thrives on a plurality of experience, like the United States does. That statement is paradoxical -- liberal democracy actually needs hate filled social war mongerers like Anonymous. It is people like him who galvanize decent citizens with tolerant and virtuous beliefs, turning them from the silent majority to a political force that will undoubtedly defeat the politics of people like Anonymous.

Changes in Democratic leadership

The AP is reporting that Howard Dean may make a run for the chair of the Democratic National Committee, currently held by Terry McAuliff, whose term is ending soon.

At first glance, I'd have to say that this is potentially a good things. With Daschle out at the minority leader in the Senate, perhaps it is time for a real change in direction. Dean would provide that. He is certainly not a Third Way Democrat, a Clinton Democrat. Clinton was certainly successful directing the party during his time as President, but since then Democrats have struggled. In fact, they started to struggle in Congress ever since the 1994 Contract with America Republicans took over. Though the Contract was a failure, the congressional Republicans have been successful at defeating Democrats ever since then.

Donna Brazile, who ran Gore's election campaign and Clinton aide Harold Ickes have also been named as possibilities, but I still think a refocus on traditional Democratic idealogy is needed, and Dean, from what I saw during the primaries, can provide that.

The Salvador Deli -- the readers write!

Well, the telephone lines have been lighting up over this post. Lots of good suggestions posted. So far, the Persistance of Sauerkraut is my favorite. One reader suggested I melt a clock in the microwave and put it up on the wall. While I applaud the imagination, I worry that my diners would miss their train. That idea, and the idea of designing the menu in the Cubism style, might put off customers. I prefer door handles shaped like his moustache.

And yes, I know that Dali was not a Cubist.

What's for lunch?

Do you think anyone would eat at a restaurant called the Salvador Deli? I could put paintings of the wall of melting balogna draped along the branches of trees.

Jeeves knows where I am

Thank you for all the congratulatory messages I have received since posting that I am Google-able. I found out just last night, that I am also Ask Jeeves-able, but only on accident.

If you go to askjeeves.com and type in "where di abe lincoln live" what you will get is my li'l ol' 'blog, right there at numero dos. Why there? Well, if you notice, I typed "di" instead of "did" and if you notice, it brings up a reference I made to Leonardo di Vinci. Beats the hell out of me how Jeeves knows that, but whatever.

PS -- if you type "where did abe lincoln live" I'm nowhere to be seen.

Despondent Democrats: Depressing News

54,800,000 votes! How awesome would it be if nearly 55 million people voted for me to do anything? I would feel validated if 55 million people wanted me.

But it would really suck if 58,350,000 wanted somebody else to do what I was supposed to do. 55 million is nice, but 58 million is better.

Unfortunately.

Senator John Kerry is not going to be the next President of the United States. The vote isn't neither signed, sealed nor delivered in Ohio, but I just don't see him making up the current 135,000 deficit with provision ballots and absentee ballots. It was close, as it was in 2000, but Bush seems to have pulled out a legit winner this time.

But the situation is quite dire for Democrats. Not only did we fail to win the White House, but we lost three seats in the Senate and (currently) three in the House, with seven still undecided. Tom Daschle, the one time Majority Leader of the Senate, lost his re-election bid to Tom Thune, a Christian conservative in the Christian conservative state of South Dakota. Odd how a man like Dachle managed to claw his way up the management structure of the Democrats being from such a traditionally difficult state for Democrats. The White House wanted Daschle out of office, naming him the chief obstructionist to moving the country forward with their agenda. All in all over $30,000,000 was spent in that state on the Senate campaign, making it the most expensive Senate race this year. As much as Democrats need numbers in Congress, perhaps it is a good thing that Daschle was not re-elected. Not because it is better for Thune, but because Daschle presided over a Senate that lost seats in every election where he was the leader of the party. Perhaps Daschle was just not a very good leader, but that is a discussion for another time.

More worrying still is that the ballot iniatives to constitutionally ban gay marriage in 11 states passed in all 11 states. Not only did it pass, but it wasn't even close. The amendment had, in most cases, at least 70%. That is very disturbing. It even passed in Oregon and Michigan, states that Kerry carried, although I should note than Kerry is against gay marriage (and also against an amendment to ban it). A friend of mine remarked that he no longer knew how to go about living in the United States, when it is so clear now that half the people agree that his civil rights should be abolished. I am certain that a vote on gay marriage is essentially a poll on the acceptability of homosexuals in the United States -- the results don't give me much room for doubt.

Democrats lost two gubernatorial races, only to pick off two from the Republicans, leave no net loss of states, but it is worrying that Indiana now has a GOP governor for the first time in decades. Also just found out that the Republicans look likely to take the Oregon gubernatorial race, with Dino Rossi currently leading Christine Gregoire by nearly 900 votes.

There were some bright spots, especially in my home state and Congressional district. The Illinois 9th re-elected Janice Shakowsky for another term. Cook County (excluding Chicago) also elected Barack Obama to the US Senate by a wide margin, 81% to 17% over Alan Keyes. This election was troubling for a couple of reasons. Keyes, a native of Maryland who had never lived in Illinois, ran a very nasty campaign, even when it was apparent that he would never win. He was down more than 30% in the polls with weeks left in the race. Even with these numbers, Keyes went on the attack like an infant with no control, calling Obama no less than a Nazi at one point during the final debate in Chicago. Who does that, especially when one is down in the polls by such an astounding number? I can only guess that the GOP ran him in Illinois, knowing that Obama was unbeatable and would get a lot of press, as a way of getting some cheap (both morally and monetarily) publicity: call Obama a Nazi, and you call Kerry one by association.

Keyes has vowed to stay in Illinois to help rebuild the Republican party. I can only hope that he does, because he seems to be such a lousy person, he may finally wake southern Illinois up to the fact that the Republicans are, for the most part, morally bankrupt.

Jim Bunning, the odd GOP Senator from Kentucky, beat unknown challanger Daniel Mongiardo in a race that ended up being 51%/49%. In Florida, Betty Castor lost to Mel Martinez, who cashed in on the fact that the GOP saw a surge in the Latino voting bloc. Ken Salazar beat beer heir Peter Coors, in another closely contested race.

Money Quote of the Day

As the late-night waiting crawled toward dawn this morning, network news' finest began to let loose with some atypical comments on the election's already apparent outcome. It had been Dan Rather who'd grabbed our attention earlier in the evening, but around 4:30 a.m. Eastern time on ABC, it was Peter Jennings' turn:

"The liberal years of America, " he said, "at least for the moment, are over." --from Salon.com

Blog the Vote

Well, I finally have a dial-up connection at my home for this one night.

I haven't used dial-up for about two years, and boy does it suck. But, I'll with it because that is how much I care about you, the loyal reader, who is looking forward to my insight and witty updates.

Polls close in select easters states in about an hour and a quarter. See you then!

I'm Google-able!

Yes, folks, it is true. I am a full fledged member of the Google community. I'm somebody. I'm validated, whether or not you want to post a comment.

If you go to Google and type in "abe lincolns blog cabin" you get these fine results. See that seventh entry! Boo-yah! That is me my friends.

Bask in my popularity! Bask! Google commands you to!

A great Election Day routine

Eric Zorn, of the Chicago Tribune on his election day routine...

"On the day of presidential elections now, I wake up at 5 a.m. and set my tape deck to begin recording conservative talk radio hosts.

This year I'll record four hours of Tedious Teri O'Brien and the house elf who serves as her co-host; two hours of Bush/Keyes supporter Eileen Byrne and her sensible lefty co-host Jay Marvin; and three hours of Rush Limbaugh, all on WLS AM.

I'll store the tapes away until Wednesday. If Bush wins, I'll record over them and never listen – as I ultimately did after the 2000 election.

But if Kerry wins, I'll listen to and savor every last prediction of victory, smug expression of assurance and pooh-poohing of Kerry's chances, just like I did after Bill Clinton beat Bob Dole in 1996.

The pleasure of listening to Limbaugh crow, "We're going to do it, folks, we're going to win, I can feel it! I can feel it!" when I knew they didn't do it and they lost was, I admit, a small-minded pleasure. But a huge one."

The A states

Oh, and I was totally wrong about calling Arkansas and Arizona for Kerry. Bush has solidifed his status in both of them since I made my prediction.

Another year where Democrats don't win a state that starts with an A.

But Kerry just might pick up New Mexico.

Surprise!

On Friday, I was all ready to call it a day for Senator Kerry. Bin Laden's tape was a bona fide October surprise, although I don't think Karl Rove engineered this one. At most, he heard about it a couple of minutes before al-Jazeera aired it.

The first thought that ran through my head was that bin Laden's face reminds everyone that we are embroiled in a "war" on "terror." With American's still giving the nod to Bush for fighting that war (we all know how I feel about this -- American's seem to like fighting the war, but not actually winning it) anything that reminds them of the war would give Bush the edge. I went to bed a very depressed person.

But I woke up the next morning thinking that maybe this really would shock Americans. After all, you never see his face or hear his name (well, not until Kerry reminded Bush and the media), so maybe this would remind undecideds (apparently >1% is still undecided) of the abyssmal job Bush has done? I was invigorated. I went for a run.

I came back in, turned on the television, especially CNN, CNBC, Fox and Bloomberg, because they are American owned. That was important because I wanted to see how American media, which influences Americans far more than the BBC does, was handling it. Well, they were reluctant to mention it, probably because they didn't know how it would affect the candidates. The candidates mentioned it very little. They both had their little statements, but both camps have, again, reluctant to mention it.

The only real talk about it has sidestepped the issue. Bush and Co. is complaining that Kerry used it as political ammo. He is a seedy opportunist, a "Monday morning quarterback" who will say anything to get elected. That sure is a crock, if you ask me. Why shouldn't he exploit the fact that Bush failed to get bin Laden while we still had capable forces in Afghanistan? That was the whole point. Bush must be held accountable for these sorts of things.

So, in the end, I really don't know how it will all pan out.

The Pride of Pennsylvania

Let me tell my loyal readers that if John Kerry wins the election, it will be by winning Pennsylvania. And if John Kerry wins Pennsylvania, it will be because my sister has done an amazing job of getting out the vote, of informing people regarding George "I'm a steward of the land" Bush's abyssmal environmental record, and telling how John Kerry can change things for the better in the United States.

Kim has been involved with the Sierra Clubs election campaign for over a year (I went with her to one of the first local action meetings in Harrisburg), and she has been volunteering her time with MoveOn.org as well as the Democratic Party in Pennsylvania. She has appeared on local television and her name can be found on the Sierra Club website. She has been calling voters in the Harrisburg areas and will be canvassing in Philadelphia in the days before the election.

Democracy is nothing without the active participation of those who care about the issues. Kim Anderson has sacrificed not a small amount of time to ensure a victory on November 2.

It is time for everyone who reads this to do their part as well:

Vote!

Money Quote of the Day

"And Strauss said, 'You know, handling this thing is kind of like making love to a gorilla.' 'Oh, yeah, how's that?' 'Well, you can't stop until the gorilla gets off.'"

George H. W. Bush, being interviewed by Cokie Roberts on NPR, was speaking about his time as leader of the Republican National Committee during the Watergate scandal. Richard Strauss, then the head of the Democratic National Committee called to offer sarcastic sympathy to Bush, who was in the middle of drafting a letter urging President Nixon to resign.

Kerry 287 Bush 251 -- the official prediction

This is my prediction for the election, subject to a complete revisal at some point between now and the election:

Kerry: 287
Arizona, Arkansas, Califonia, Colorado, Connecticut, DC, Deleware, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Mass., Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, NJ, NH, NY, Ohio, Oregon, Penn, RI, Vermont, Washington

Bush: 251
Alabama, Alaska, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming

I think Arkansas, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Michigan will all hinge on minority voters. 6,000,000 minorities have newly registered for this election. I am pretty confident, except for Arkansas. The race has been tighter there than people really let on to believe. Neither Kerry nor Bush have made a stop there for months but Bush only has a small lead there. One speech in the right place at the right time could swing that state over to us.

I don't think Wisconsin will go to Kerry for the much the same reason. Not enough minority voters. I could say the same thing about Minnesota, but Minn has a very strong and long history of supporting Democrats. Sure, past performance does predict future earnings, but, along with Arkansas, it is a hunch of mine.

The only other surprise is Arizona. I think the key to that state is the very large student population. Arizona has more students per capita than any other state. I understand that this is my "what are you thinking" prediction.

A news arsenal

With less than a week to go before D-Day, I am finally ready to go into full election coverage mode.

I am now armed with a full arsenal of news programming, including SkyNews, ITV News, BBC News 24, BBC News Parliament, CNBC, Bloomberg, CNN and, yes, Fox News. SkyNews, ITV, BBC, CNBC, CNN and Fox are have election night coverage, so I am pretty excited.

The New Yorker endorsement

For the first time in, well, a very very long time (perhaps the first time ever), the New Yorker is endorsing a candidate for President. What is most striking about this piece though, is that of its 4523 words, 3856 are devoted to why Bush shouldn't be reelected and only 667 are devoted to Kerry. In the opening sentences of Kerry's "endorsement" the Editors say "but the challenger has more to offer than the fact that he is not George W. Bush." I'm not sure if they really believe that. By my rudimentary metric, Bush's "badness" outweighs Kerry's goodness 6:1.

I wonder how, across all the Kerry endorsements, the pro-Kerry column inches stack up against the anti-Bush ones.

Gore/Bush redux?

It is gonna be close. Uncomfortably close. Hoping we’re all wearing deodorant close.

Everyone new it was going to be close last time around. Look what happened. The guy who won the popular vote lost the election to the guy who won, dubiously, the Electoral College vote.

What do you think will happen if the same thing happens this year, except with Bush winning the popular vote and Kerry winning the Elector College? It could happen.

Concerns regarding disenfranchisement will arise, as they should, but how will the conservative and liberal elements of the media react? After all, the liberal elements went ape after Gore/Bush and the conservative elements were dismissive, saying the Electoral College is what it is, and they can’t do anything about the Constitution.

How will that precedent hold up?

Bush is so American League

Follow my logic:

1. The American League has adopted the designated hitter rule
2. The designated hitter rule is bad for baseball
3. Therefore, the American League is bad for baseball.
4. President Bush was a part-owner of the Texas Rangers
5. The Texas Rangers are an American League team
6. If you are an owner of a team, then you support that team's league's policies
7. Therefore, President Bush supports the designated hitter rule
8. Therefore, President Bush supports the destruction of baseball as we know it
9. To support the destruction of something is a bad thing
10. Therefore, President Bush is a bad thing
11. People shouldn't vote for bad things.
12. Therefore, people shouldn't vote for President Bush.

It is that simple.

Money quote of the day

Patrick Smith, of Salon.com, on the the winter vacationing ideas of the Finnish people and Talinn, Estonia, as the new Cancun of the Baltic:

"Somehow the idea of winter-bound Finns escaping to Estonia is a bit like Americans rushing off to party in New Brunswick."

The Chicago Tribune explains its endorsement - sort of

Don Wycliff, public editor at the Chicago Tribune, broke his moratorium on answering the 2,400 messages sent to him and his staff at the Chicago Tribune after the paper endorsed President Bush for another term.

What he did was explain the process, who is involved and what criteria they use. With regards to the criteria, much of the decision rests on how much the candidate fits in with the Tribune's manifesto. Wycliff quoted part of it: "The Tribune believes in the traditional principles of limited government; maximum individual responsibility; and minimum restriction of personal liberty, opportunity and enterprise. It believes in free markets, free will and freedom of expression."

Given these criteria, I still can't figure out how they would endorse Bush.

Maximum individual responsibility? Sure, American's have way more responsibility now -- responsibility to pay for their own health care, even though they can't afford it, responsibility to fend for their own futures after corporate hacks raided their retirement accounts, etc.

Isn't it Bush who couldn't name any mistakes that he could take responsibility for? Isn't it Cheney who headed a company that dodged US law by conducting business from a London-based firm to deal with Iran? Isn't it this administration who continues to pass the buck to the Clinton administration for the downturn in the economy?

Minimum restriction of personal liberty, opportunity and enterprise? You have got to be kidding me. After 9/11, they passed legislation that was the most sweeping reform on civil liberties since giving women and African-American's the right to vote. Personal liberty is a farce under President Bush. They hide behind the veil of "necessary security measures" to justify the restriction of the civil liberties of every single American.

The Republicans can no longer call themselves the party of fiscal responsibility. Sure, they'll cut your taxes, but then they'll spend money they don't have and then cut those social services that so many American's rely upon. All of this to promote the idea of the free market. But, given the way this administration has had back door dealings with the energy industry, the defence industry and the pharmaceutical industry, I can't see much free market activity any more. Industry loves to pontificate on the virtues of the free market... except when they want billions and billions in government hand outs.

The actual text of the Tribune's endorsement doesn't really speak to any of this though. It is almost all about the war on terrorism. Well, we all know how I feel about that. Bush's record has not been exemplary: he is losing ground in Afghanistan, and losing face after sham elections there last week; Iraq is getting more and more out of hand and is far more dangerous to the surrounding world than it was before the war; there have been major terrorist attacks in Russia, Turkey and Spain, all coming during this President's war on terror.

Will John Kerry do any better? I can't see how he would do any worse.

Social email paranoia

Does anyone ever look at where their name appears in the order of recipients of mass emails? If someone sends me and twenty other people, I look to see where my name appears. I think it is a real gauge of friendship. Kind of like where your name appears on the speed dial of telephones.

You also need to make sure that the list isn't alphabetical. If it is, and your name is Xavier Zolan, then results will be skewed. But if your friend Zara Yoland comes first or second and you, Xaviar Zolan, comes last, then, my friend, you our outta luck on that one. No one likes you. Well, this person only likes you enough to get onto the email... at the bottom.

By the way, my address was 8th in a list of 48. Not too bad, not too bad at all. In fact, just bad enough.

Friendster

I just updated my Friendster account to accept my blog's RSS feed. Trying to see if it works.

Venting, the day after

Okay, I went off yesterday. I apologise. I try and keep it civil, but people who are going to go off and vote go and say some stupid stuff and ruin my morning.

Venting

I have got no fucking clue why Americans equate George Bush with success in the war on terrorism.

I just read a Washington Post report on how terrorism ranks as the number one issue in New Jersey this year. A woman, quoted in the article, said "He's very strong, and there's no 'maybe' in his voice."

Another man said that he respected Bush when, "as the towers fell" the President made his mind up to "get the terrorists where they live."

The one statistic that never fails to floor my English co-workers is the high number of US citizens who still believes that there is a link between Saddam Hussein and the 9/11 attacks. As one colleague put it, "if Saddam Hussein caught the scent of an al-Qaeda operative in Iraq he would have castrated him and eaten his testicles for breakfast." That is something that all Briton believe, not because they are weirdo, lefty liberals, but because they are sane, rational people with a (more) balanced media telling them about the world.

But, the link between Iraq and 9/11 has been forged, never to be broken in the public's mind.

That still doesn't explain why American's are willing to let Bush off the hook for Afghanistan, where the terrorists actually do live! I think John Kerry should have mentioned bin Laden's name at every engagement.

Why should Republicans be the only guys to capitalize on the fear of another attack? Invoking ObL isn't just useless scare mongering. He was the one responsible and he is still at large. Bush must be held accountable for that.

But the people who put Bush on a pedestal don't see any of the wider picture. Instead of less nuclear proliferation, the world has more (Iran and North Korea either have, or are planning on developing nuclear weapons; Libya is the only country to disarm). Around the world, under Bush's watch, there have been major terrorist incidents in Russia, Turkey, Spain, Indonesia, India and Pakistan and Israel. Bush is not responsible for these events, but I list them to show that terrorist activity is not any less today than it was when he started his war on terrorism.

Afghanistan is in shambles again, despite having their "election." Heroine production is on the rise, apparently the Taliban are regrouping and war lords are posturing themselves to take over the country.

Mission accomplished!

But, Joe Middle America will always stand tall for the President. The idiocy of the American public is really getting to me.

After a while, one has to move beyond criticising an administration and start criticising those who buy it.

The Second Presidential Debate -- Tim Henman vs The Idiot Savant

Saturday night, I sat in an auditorium in Red Lion Square, London WC2, with people from Democrats Abroad to watch the second Presidential debate. Pundits agree that President Bush did a far better job of presenting a case for re-election this time around than he did during the first debate. Whereas he first came off sounding angry and frustrated, this time Bush was in more control of his faculties and gave managed to give answers without scowling. Although he did make some weird gestures (winking into the audience at one point) it was classic Bush -- meaning he wasn't good, but he was effective.

The debates have always been Kerry's to win or lose. Just as it was in 2000 when the bar was set so low for Bush and so high for Gore, all Bush had to do was attack and defend, while Kerry had to attack Bush, defend his record, deflect lies and propose a different future.

John Kerry was ho-hum, if not a little underwhelming. I thought he responded to all of Bush's attacks with decent answers and provided a rigorous defence of his background and his decisions. Kerry is in such a difficult position. Just as the Republicans created a straw man Clinton out of lies, they are doing just the same with Kerry. When you lie consistantly about someone, then that person just can't respond to each and every one of them. In a world where lies that go undenied are taken as true, Kerry has to spend so much time saying that he isn't the person Bush makes him out to be. That is devastating in a political race.

It backfired for Bush in the first debate, where he sounded like an automaton, repeating the same tired phrases over and over again. Kerry deftly moved past them, asserted himself positively, and he shot up in the polls as a result. In the second debate, Bush was just as repetitious, but Kerry took the time to respond each time. As a result, Kerry was not on the offensive as much as he needed to be. As Tom Grieve of Salon.com points out, when Bush claimed Saddam was "gaming the oil-for-food to programme to get out of sanctions" and that was why we went to war, instead of pouncing on this outright lie about our reasons for going to war, Kerry took time to once again defend himself against the flip-flop charge. "Well, let me tell you straight up," he said. "I've never changed my mind about Iraq. I do believe Saddam Hussein was a threat. I always believed he was a threat."

Bush didn't have answers for some tough questions. Most notably, a woman asked Bush to point out three mistakes he has made. Bush couldn't point out one he has made, other than to suggest he might have appointed some wrong people to administration posts. Did he mean perhaps Colin Powell, the most moderate of the war faction? Perhaps he meant Paul Bremer, who is currently at odds with the administration over their handling of the post-war situation.

Kerry was without an answer to what I thought was a crucial question. When rebutting the President's claim to being a good environmentalist, Kerry bizarrely raced into an answer about welfare reform and policing. "I supported welfare reform. I led the fight to put 100,000 cops on the streets of America. I've been for faith-based initiatives helping to intervene in the lives of young children for years. I was -- broke with my party in 1985, one of the first three Democrats to fight for a balanced budget when it was heresy." Essentially, Kerry didn't have an answer.

Looking at his Vision for a Cleaner Environment, a 14-page document that lays out his plan, it is clear that Kerry is bereft of any large scale environmental plan. There is no mention of holding industry accountable for pollutants dumped in public waterways. Kerry is in favour of the pollution-trading scheme, but would restrict trading around the country's national parks. What about restricting the system around major populated areas? People like clean air too. But, most importantly, there is no talk about persuading Americans that they need to do their part to ensure a healthy environment. Of course, personal responsibility of this sort is the kind of thing voters abhor, so it is no wonder it doesn't make it into his environmental manifesto.

There are things Kerry could have said to win the environmental debate, flat out. He could have mentioned a commitment to ensuring the future of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He could have mentioned the increased funding through a polluters tax to the Superfund. He could have mentioned his stated commitment to creating so-called New Economy jobs to develop new fuels. But he dropped the ball and decided to gas on about 100,000 police when people expected to hear about trees.

Part of the reason I am going on and on about this is that the environment is a main issue for core Democrats. Most of dismayed that Bush has referred to himself as the Environment President, and has given the public the impression that he defends the environment at all costs. He even argues that chopping down trees is a way to ensuring healthy forests. Kerry could have made a real stand on something that didn't involve the economy or the war in Iraq. He could have pandered to his core, but he dropped that ball and dropped a big chance to really hold Bush accountable.

The problem is that Kerry is good as picking off issues and responding to criticism (or, if you will, personal attacks and lies), but he can’t deliver the knock out punch. Right now, he is the Tim Henman of American politics. He can shine for a long time, but he can't pull through when it really counts, when everyone is watching. He had the chance so many times: lies about a war in Iraq, mismanagement of domestic and international issues, concerns about civil liberties, etc. Kerry just couldn’t do it. I think I have and idea why.

To deliver a knock out punch, you have to take a chance. You have to be willing to go out there and take a big swing. Tim Henman never takes chances; he is a great percentage player. Kerry can’t afford to take chances. If he misses, even by the slightest bit, Bush will emerge stronger than before, if only because his troops will rally like the most loyal soldiers will. Any positions where Democrats believe Bush to be vulnerable are positions where Bush has shown the most rigidity. War wasn’t justified? Well, so you think Saddam was a good leader. Kyoto Treaty and the environment? I won’t sacrifice jobs so that bureaucrats in Europe can keep their jobs with Americans lose theirs. A loss of civil liberties? Only keeping America safe, and, if you aren’t guilty, then you don’t have to worry.

I understand these are simplifications, even for Bush, but they do represent the types of logic his administration uses. To nail Bush on the war in Iraq, you’d have to call the President of the United States a liar and a scoundrel on television, in front of the world on prime time television and you'd have to hope that the voters take it the right way. God help anyone who misspeaks one syllable because it would mark the end of his campaign.

Storks

I don't really understand storks. Are they for pickle delivery or for baby delivery?

It is well known and documented that storks bring expectent mommies and daddies their little bundles of joy after nine months of eager anticipation. That is the way it has been for a long time now and that is probably the way it is going to stay. I'm a little hazy on how the stork gets the order to deliver a baby, and how he knows where to deliver it, but it is best to not ask how the sausage is made, if I might make such a culinary reference.

Now, I would like to know why Storks are also associated with pickles, specifically Vlasic pickles. The stork is the mascot of the Vlasic company and his commercials have him delivering pickles. I mean, can you be any less imaginative?

Besides, what makes the stork such a good deliveryman in the first place? They don't seem to be particularly strong birds, so could a stork realistically carry a 7 to 13 pound baby, along with all the necessary documentation, the distance from wherever the stork starts out to the hospital? Plus, they don't seem to be very swift flyers. Sure, in the delivery biz, one needs reliable delivery, but the customer also needs speed. Storks just don't seem that fast. Plus, the Vlasic stork is really old. He wears old man glasses. I don't think he is up to the task of delivering babies or jars of pickles.

I'm going to have to go and think about this whole situation for a while, I guess.

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield died Tuesday afternoon. Initially, I didn't have fond memories of him. As a child, I thought he was too low brow and I thought he mad some really bad movie. Caddyshack was okay, but not because of Dangerfield.

But then, as an adult, I realised that movies just weren't his strong point. He was a one-liner kind of comedian, someone who interjected a joke every so often to great effect ("I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."), but that just did not translate to the screen. He also played roles, like the coach in Ladybugs, where he had a soft heart. All of those emotions required the nuanced touch of an actor. Rodney Dangerfield was a comedian, and I was grading him as though he was an actor. (Comedians, by the way, should follow the Jerry Seinfeld guide to acting -- no hugging, no learning, just jokes.)

I had a reawakening a couple of years ago. Sitting at work, bored, I googled him and read his jokes and I laughed hysterically. His voice, distinctive as it was, was ingrained in my mind, which added to the humour. His jokes are pithy, cutting to the point, and, well, funny as hell. Self-deprecation has always been a reliable form of humour and some do it better than others (Conan O'Brien and David Letterman do it very well). Rodney Dangerfield was the best.

Sunday night fights, live from Crouch End

I love drunk people!

There is nothing more satisfying than the sound of a drunken brawl late at night outside of one's window. Late Sunday night, usually a quite night around these parts, I was sitting in my room listening to some music (Mozart's Exultate, jubilate, K165) and playing Solitare and I could hear the sound of yelling outside of my window. Now, my room is on the second (third, in US terms) floor so to hear someone yelling thirty feet below through a closed window while wearing headphones is pretty significant.

I go to my window, open it up, and down below two women are having a Grade A argument. I was hoping and praying for a cat fight (because, you know, they might kiss and one things leads to another...) but it almost surpassed cat fight to all out blood-thirsty brawl. But, they were drunk so that was never going to happen. The will was there, but the body is weak.

They tried, oh how they tried, to have a brawl. But, you just can't when you are boozy in the extreme. You end up throwing punches wildly in the direction of your opponent. Momentum takes over and you end up looking like a four year old swinging a baseball bat, spinning around and around. Actually, I think it looks like what a fight would look like underwater or in outerspace; not the crisp, clean movements of Muhammad Ali, rather the slow, belaboured swings of Jacques Cousteau in a wet suit.

Of course, no one curses like a drunk. Drunks can hurl abuse at one another with the grace of a freight train. Those two women, fighting over a man, did not disappoint in that sense. I would have thought that you could only refer to someone as an effing whore, slut, slag, etc. so many times before it lost all meaning, but these two breathed fresh air into every word. That takes talent... and a lot of peppermint schnapps.

All in all, it was an amusing five minutes before I retired for the evening.

Best Friend-in-Chief?

Reliable polling reports are now coming in after Thursday's debate between a cool, calm, collected Senator Kerry and a seemingly disturbed President Bush. Results are encouraging. In most categories, Kerry won by a landslide.

Who won? John Kerry, 54% to 15%
More knowledgeable? John Kerry, 42% to 29%
Strongest display of character and personality? John Kerry, 40% to 33%
Better at getting his point across? John Kerry, 49% to 23%
Responded best under pressure? John Kerry, 54% to 16%
Who seemed more 'presidential'? John Kerry, 40% to 38%

And finally...

Who was more likable? George Bush, 39% to 38%

My statement that the results are encouraging is perhaps an overstatement. In most categories, the results are encouraging, but in the most important category, who is more likeable, Senator Kerry failed. Why is it so important? Because Americans seem more interested in voting for a Best Friend rather than a Commander-in-Chief.

A relentless campaign to portray Kerry as a sissy Frenchman who can't decide between brie and camembert has come under little scrutiny in the mainstream media but it has worked wonders on the voters. Apparently, only the French and John Kerry understand that there might be more than one way to skin a cat and there might be more than one way to "win" the "war" on "terror" but the damage has been done. Senator Kerry is a spineless 'girlie-man' while President Bush is a straight-talkin', shoot from the hip kinda guy.

Why vote for a knowledgeable career politician who understands international politics and that the war on terror requires a nuanced understanding of the world when you can vote for a folksy, down home, aww-shucks everyman who sees the world in uncomplicated black and white?

I think that it is that last category that is the most important for voters, so let's just hope Sen. Kerry can do something about that in the next month.

NCAA vs FA scheduling

Just wrote this letter to King Kaufman, sports writer for Salon.com.

King,
Do you know anything about the way the soccer leagues in the UK are set up? Perhaps there are some lessons that the NCAA could take to heart.

Essentially, teams are divided up into leagues based on their results from the previous year. The best 20 teams are in the Premiership (for example, Manchester United, the only team that most people outside of Europe know of), followed by the 24 teams in the Championship league, followed by League One and League Two. All in all, that is 92 teams.

At the end of the season, the top three teams from a lower division are promoted to the next division and the lowest three teams are relegated to the division below. The incentive, beyond the desire to win, is the extra cash and notoriety that comes from being in a higher division. Advertising fees and broadcasting rights are more lucrative and ticket prices go up as well. The team at the top of the Premiership wins the coveted trophy.

It solves, to a degree, your beef with the current college system whereby the first games of the season are not competitive enough. It also allows the fans of a mediocre team to watch a game where they stand a "snowball's chance" of winning. Two mediocre teams can combine to provide watchable soccer, or at least soccer where the outcome is in doubt (and that is what makes any sporting event interesting). As a fan of Purdue football, watching the Boilermakers outscore their opponents 110-7 in their first two games was very uninteresting.

The explosion in the number of bowl games in the past decade just goes to show that fans, coaches and university presidents can only be satiated by a meaningless bowl victory, such as the Continental Tire Bowl. The UK system allows ten teams to say they accomplished something meaningful (three teams promoted from three leagues and one Premiership victor), and it also allows for a race at both ends of the league: teams at the top scramble for a promotion, teams at the bottom scramble to avoid relegation.

Sure, it would require reworking a conference system that has been in place for decades and decades and it would require ending the trivial rivalries (Purdue vs Ball State just because they are in the same state?) that make alumni swoon, but it just might provide for more consistently entertaining football.

Flossing and Crosswords

Some acute readers have noticed a general inability for me to follow through with certain things. It is true. I have gusto and drive in the beginning, only to have it falter in the later stages. Now, this doesn't extend to life's big events. I finished university, got a post-graduate degree and I hold down a job. It is the small stuff.

Flossing and crossword puzzles. This morning, I was flossing in the bathroom right before stepping into the shower and I had done everything upstairs and most of the downstair of my mouth, but I just couldn't be bothered to get at those pesky molars. Now, I managed to do the molars in every other part of my mouth, but those lower right hand molars just said "Not worth the effort."

Why? Why couldn't I just have done that simple little act? It could have been done and dusted in under 20 seconds, but I just couldn't get my act together. I disposed of the floss, got in the shower, and went to work.

I do the same thing with crossword puzzles, although I don't feel quite as bad. In the grand scheme of things, not taking the time to fill in "9 - Light the passions once more" or "7 - Tendency to flirt etc" isn't going to affect me in any great way, like making my teeth fall out of my gums, but it is indicative of me not being able to finish small, menial inconsequential tasks. Normally, that wouldn't bother anyone, but I revel in the inconsequential. The inconsequential aspects of life are the ones that are the best to poke fun at.

Coke vs Soda, the pants gnome, home field advantage and the semi-colon. I hope you see a pattern here.

But, if I can't perform the inconsequential, can I really be in a place to question the inconsequential?

Home field advantage -- meaningless stat?

I have noticed a fairly odd trend in the standings this year. American league teams enjoy a fairly substantial home field advantage (HFA) while National league teams do not.

In the NL, the teams with the greatest bias towards playing at home are Colorado (+9 games), Milwaukee (+8), and Pittsburgh (+8). The mean bias for the NL +3.125 and the median is +3.5

In the AL, the teams with a bias +10 or above are Cleveland (+10), Oakland (+11), New York (+11), Toronto (+11), Seattle (+13), Chicago (+13), Texas (+14), and Boston (+15). Over half the teams in the AL have a home field advantage of +10 or greater. The mean bias is +7.8 in the AL and the median is +10.

I wonder why? I'd put some thoughts, but I must get back to work.

A bittersweet love returns

Last night, as I was killing time around Holborn and the LSE library, I rekindled an old flame. The affair had everything: sunny days in the park, drunken encounters late at night, slipping out for a little something-something. But, I had ended the relationship. It wasn't good for my well being and it was quite necessary to move on. The break up was hard. My body yearned for another meeting, for something that would make me feel full on the inside. But I was strong.

Last night, I gave in. I stopped by one of our hangouts, and everything was as it had been. And it was good! So very, very good. I took everything I wanted and enjoyed it all. But as soon as I was finished, I was overcome by a wave of guilt. How could I have been so weak? How could I have given in to temptation so easily? But, what I did can not be reversed, and it can not be washed off in the shower.

After a year apart, I visited a McDonalds. To have the salty, oily flavour of the fries on my tongue, and salty, oily flavour of the chicken McNuggets was pure heaven, and to wash it down with a Coke was the perfect ending.

But, McDonalds, on the whole, is bad for you. Salt, oil, fat, sugar. Not good, not one bit.

McDonalds is a lusty wench, but lusty wenches have a way of biting you on the ass.

Lo! The Semi-colon

I find the keyboard very easy to get around -- I can type very quickly; 90+ words per minute when I really get going. I have mastered the problems I had striking 'z' when I really needed an 'x' and I have fully integrated the number keypad into my typing abilities. I'm a connoisseur of the keyboard, if you will.

I have one question though.

What's with the semi-colon key?

I mean, the home row 'asdfjkl;' is the captain of the keyboard (although an argument could be made for that luxurious widebody space key). Some letters have missed out: popular T, E and N are all upstairs or downstairs. The period, down below. Quotations marks, well, you need the shift key to get at those.

So, why put the semi-colon right there? Why not the comma? The comma is in a very inconvenient position, situated between the 'M' and the period. Why not throw the semi-colon down there? I use the semi-colon so rarely. In fact, I use the colon more than I use the semi-colon, yet I need the shift key to get at it.

What is up with that?

Pants gnome

Somthing odd is going on in my pants. My underwear has a little button that closes the flap in the front thus ensuring the contents don't accidentally exit the premises. Such an exit could prove, to say the lease, deleterious to my well being. The thing is, I never button it up. It is true, I walk on the wild side. I smirk in the general direction of danger. Reason being, I'm just a little to lazy to do it. Who has time? Since I am a Caesarian urinator (one who opens up the fly, while keeping the trousers buttoned, and then uses the flap as a path, to... you know), having to unbutton and then rebutton my underpants gets straining. I also don't bother buttoning up when I fold them after the laundry.

So, I was rather surprised when I went to the bathroom this morning and found that the flap was buttoned. The only explanation can be little underpants gnomes who go snooping around my drawers at night, buttoning the flaps. Only explanation!

O's Thai Cafe

Crouch End is awash in neat little restaurants that are distinctive enough to capture your attention, but not so distinctive that you are afraid to try it out. O's Thai Cafe, part of the O's Crouch End bar empire, is a tidy, little Thai restaurant that is pleasing to the eye and has pretty good food as well.

The long, narrow restuarant benefits from having a fresh look. The interior is enhanced by small blocks of colour along the walls and clean lines to compliment simple, good Thai food. Decor is important. It can either be garish and put me off my food or it can compliment the meal, enhancing the experience. I took immediate notice of the interior design. The dining floor is raised a meter off street level, thus distancing the diner from the pleasant experience on the inside and the crueal realities of the world outside. The website describes the restaurant as "Crouch End's own designer canteen," which may be going over the line, but the feeling and design of the dining room certainly fits with the ethos of the menu.

Playing music in a restaurant is always a risk and is probably best to be avoided. Music with a strong beat is tedious to eat to, and musical tastes change from person to person. But sometimes the music works. O decided to play on that night an album from the Buena Vista Social Club. Thai food, Cuban Jazz, but it was pleasant. It reminded me of a sushi restaurant in West Lafayette, Indiana, run by a Japanese curmudgeon who cared about his (bad, bland, over-priced) sushi and little else -- he always played Bob Marley.

It was early on a Sunday night when we dined, so the waitstaff seemed at ease, not rushing around, which can be irritating. As most readers know, I am fanatical about service in restaurants. A server should be affable yet professional, knowedgable and helpful, he should know when he is wanted and when to stay away. I can provide numerous examples of times when I have been persuaded into ordering more (expensive) food based on timely, helpful advice from my waiter and other times when all I wanted to do was eat and leave because the waiter was overbearing, unfriendly, unprofessional, etc. Dining at a restaurant is a social experience, but talking to the waiter is a professional transaction -- I don't ever look to make friends with my waiter.

Having said all that, I really didn't test our waitress. It was Sunday, and we were looking to eat quick and skedaddle. We ordered tap water, ordered food, ate and left.

We started off with Poh Piah Tord, aka spring rolls, which were small, delicate and crispy. It isn't too difficult to get them right, so I shan't comment. They were served with a small dish of sweet chilli sauce which could have been a little more on the chilli and a little less on the sweet, but it was welcome nonetheless.

As a main, I ordered Pad Kratiem Prik Tai, king prawns in a sweet oyster broth enhanced with coriander and garlic paste and julienned vegetables, served along side a dish of rice. The coriander, aka cilantro, paste almost put me off, but I persevered. I normally hate the taste of fresh cilantro. When I say hate I mean I won't eat it because I can not stand the taste of it in my mouth. My mother is the same way. But this was in paste form and was cooked, so I took a chance and it worked out. That being said, I didn't really taste the cilantro, and as I have always questioned, what is the point of putting an ingrediant in food that you can't taste? The king prawns were small as king prawns go but were cooked very well, i.e. not chewy and they retained a nice flavour. The broth was a little on the sweet side and there wasn't a hint of heat, which would have been nice. In retrospect, I might also have added a touch of lime to give it some piquancy and to balance out the sweetness of the oyster sauce, but the dish was not a disappointment. The vegetables were julienned nicely and it was served next to an appropriately sized cup of rice.

A friend of mine has said no Asian restaurant is worth its salt if it doesn't serve rice for free. If you have to ask for it or if it costs extra, it is rip off and it probably indicative of a severe moral lapse. O didn't disappoint me. A perfect amount of soft, clean, white rice blemished only by a singular cilantro leaf on top. The effect was pleasing, but I did remove the vile weed and burn it next to the table.

As we were in a hurry, I did not inbibe, but the wine list looked pretty good. I can't choose wine. That is why you need a good waiter. You should be able to say to the waiter that you want to spend this or that amount of money and eat this or that dish and he or she should tell you what to order, not narrow it down to a smaller list. But, ranging from ?10.95 to ?17.95, the wine selection fits in with the food menu's moderate prices.

I'd like to visit the restaurant again, especially when filled with people. We got there early, before 6.30, so we were given an "early diners" discount of 10%. Nice touch.

Total bill for one starter, two mains, a 10% discount, rounded up with a small tip was ?16.00. Not bad, not bad at all.

Typing your name

I just received an email from a friend. It was a pretty ordinary email. At the bottom, instead of writing her name, she just put her first initial, J (initials have been changed to protect the innocent).

I guess I don't really understand the point. If you are going to write something to signify that it is you, then why not just type your name, I mean, we aren't talking about some huge expanse of time being taken up by typing out a six letter name. At the same time, if you don't have to time to type the full name, why not just leave it out. After all, the sender's name is right there at the top of the screen so I already know who it is from. It is just redundant at the bottom.

Separated by a common language? -- a statement

Reading my musings, it has occured to me that I am not the mark of consistancy that I had hoped. Misspellings, incorrect punctuation, subject-verb agreement, etc. I can forgive those, because this is only a blog not a dissertation on good spelling or correct punctuation. What has really miffed me is my inability to conform to a standard of spelling -- US or UK English. We all know the differences: humor vs humour, flavor vs flavour, tomato vs tomahtoe. Of course, there are others: fetal vs foetal, pedophile vs paedophile, potato vs potahtoe.

I just can't seem to choose a side. I'm torn. Do I stay with my heritage, my roots, my birthplace or do I embrace my new place in this world? It is a tough question, and one that I shall struggle with. What you should know is that I am struggling with it, so BACK THE HELL OFF!

Black Cars

Can anyone tell me why cars that are painted black are said to get dirty faster? Time and time again people have told me that black paint shows up dirt, mud, wear and tear more than, say, white cars do. Does this really make sense? That is like saying it is easier to see blood stains on a red shirt rather than a blue shirt, or grass stains on green trousers rather than white ones. It would seem to me that the more dirt coloured your car is to begin with, the longer it will be before someone says "Hey, your car sure is dirty." Since black is closer to the colour of dirt than white is, shouldn't it look cleaner? "Hey, is that car dirty?" "No, it is just naturally dirt coloured."

The Games of the XXVIII Olympiad, part III -- Medals tables

With 103 medals, 35 gold, the United States ended the Athens 2004 games with firm control of the top spot. Number two in the tally was Russia with an impressive 92 medals, 27 gold, and number three was China with only 63 medals, 40 behind the United States.

Commentator Richard Adams of The Guardian, suggests that the accolades should go to China, then Russia, then Cuba, then Ethiopia, in that order. Why? Because as a ratio of gold to average income, those nations that have the lowest ratio win. In China, the average yearly income is under US$5000, so their $-to-Gold ratio is 145. In the US, the average yearly income is around US$35,000, thus making their $-to-Gold ratio about 1031. The UK falls to 26th in this ranking at 2953, with Belarus, Italy, France and Thailand immediately preceding it.

Adams is correct to point out that it is quite silly to compare medals won on the basis of population alone. The reason being that China, with nearly 1/4 of the world's population, is simply incomparable to small countries like Jamaica. Given the population of Jamaica, winning one gold medal would put them ahead of China, no matter how many gold medals China ended up winning (i.e. there just aren't enough gold medals to be won to overcome the ratio).

But, I can't help but think that this system is fundamentally flawed as well. The United States is one of the only countries where athletes get no government funds to train. The US Olympic Committee, is funded solely by donations and corporate sponsorship. That is the reason why seemingly every product group in the US has an official Olympic sponsor. Why the USOC needs an official beer, other than for the money, I don't know. Compare this with the system that was in the USSR. The Soviet governments poured vast amounts of money into their Olympic teams. The results were impressive. The Soviets ended atop the medals tally more often than you would think. To be sure, the GDP of the Soviet Union was always small than the United States, so according to Adams, the USSR should have ended up higher than the US in the rankings. But clearly their impressive results were not a result of the average incomes of the Soviet people, so Adams' rankings seem to have lost their appeal. Generally speaking though, most governments pay their athletes to train. So, per capita income is still a poor way of ranking medals because it doesn't take into account that governments may pay out a disproportionate amount of money to their athletes for whatever reasons.

It should also be noted that a number of world class African, European and Asian athletes train in the United States and only return home periodically to represent their team in world competitions. Female European swimmers train at a number of US universities. So, the gold medal won by a country's athlete come have come because of the training in a foreign country. And, isn't the whole point to talking about medals in economic terms a way of saying how much a country can afford to train its athletes? Well, what if the country doesn't train its athletes?

So, there are a number of obvious problems with looking at the medals totals and they all have to do with context. A number like 103 medals means very little unless it is placed in the appropriate context. Population does matter. Smaller countries don't have the number of talented athletes to field contenders in all 200+ Olympic competitions. Perhaps it would be worth a look into the ratio of competitors per country entered in a competition to the number that actually win medals. It might be more meaningful to understand that of the 50 competitions that Romania entered, 8 of them ended with Romania winning the gold medal. The opposite impression would be given if Romania had entered 250 events and only scraped out 8 gold medals. We also need to pay attention to the amount of money a government (or society) spends on their athletes. Measuring that as aspect of average income would not take into account an especially sports-crazed (where governments/citizens choose to spend a lot on their athletes) or sports-averse (where governments/citizens choose not to spend a lot on their athletes) country.

Or, maybe it would just be easier to know that the US kicks, and always will kick, Olympic ass, and be done with it.

War records? Who cares?

I'm sure we have all heard about John Kerry's war record being put under extreme scrutiny. Its all bull shit... the scrutiny, that is. The only thing that might come of this is that, in the future, we might be able to elect a President who doesn't have to speak ad naseum about his service (or lack thereof) to the military, and, in an abstract kind of way, the United States. Does it really matter that John Kerry served in Viet Nam? Not to me it doesn't. Does it matter to me that George Bush served (or didn't serve, as the case very well is) in the Texas National Guard? No, although it does matter that he lied about it.

It clearly isn't important to people anymore. If it were so important, would we have elected a draft-dodger (Clinton) over a decorated veteran (Bob Dole)? If it were so important, wouldn't we have some real problems with Bush's lies about his tour of duty? If it were so revered, would we dare contradict US Navy records, a whole host of heroic medals and the first hand corroboration of John Kerry's comrades? It clearly isn't important anymore, but it serves a useful political purpose.

Of course, when an issue only serves a political purpose, it really isn't important anymore.

The problem is that when it serves a political purpose, it is controlled by only the politicians. Having adopted the language surrounding the issue, they can spin whatever story they want. The public doesn't really care enough to look into it themselves, so they will simply respond to what the politicans say. If the politicians say that war medals are worthless, then they are. If the politicians say a murky national guard history is as strong as a bona fide, officially recorded tour of duty, then so be it. It is all up to those who can control the dialogue.

Controlling the dialogue and controlling the debate is what gets you elected, and that is what politicians are all about.

The TMNT of Bel-Air?

Have you ever watched an episode of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and then an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and noticed that something was amiss? Something familiar about the two shows, but you really couldn't put your finger on it? I had these very same feelings and then I realised what was going on. The voice of Shredder and the voice of Phillip Banks sounded awfully similar. Could it be that Avery Brooks, father of goofy Carlton, snobby Hilary and indistinctive Ashley, and husband to Vivian Banks #1 and Vivian Banks #2, also spent his time as Shredder, leader of that rag-tag groups of mutants, Be-Bop and Rock Steady, and bent on the destruction of Earth for some reason and especially the TNMTs?

It is true, my friends. It is true. James Avery was both Philip Banks and Shredder.

The Readers Write, part II -- The Dialect Divides

Informed reader Jez suggested a number of differences between the US and the UK when we refer to that fizzy elixir. According to Jez, pop could be anything from a pink liquid advertised on television to a word that the elderly used when referring to a soft-drink to appear both "hip" and "with-it" at the same time. Soda, on the other hand, makes him think of cream soda (or creme soda, for the purists out there).

He always opted for the the more specific "fizzy brown vegetable extract." This only serves to show yet another difference between the US and UK. When ordering, I always ask for "carbonated aqueous maltodextrin with caramel flavourings." I guess it is just the way I was raised.

Myriad linguistic differences have been noted throughout the years between the variants of English in the UK and in the US. The English claim their English is correct because they "invented" it. I used to say that our English should be the benchmark English because there are more US English speakers than there are UK English speakers. The problem with that argument is that there are more English speakers in China than in the rest of the world combined, so that would mean giving the Chinese the right of standardising the English language.

In the end, it probably doesn't really make a difference. In Germany, standard, taught German, called Hochdeutsch or High German, is only standard because a group of German linguists and politicians decided that the varient of German spoken in Hamburg would be the German. It is all pretty arbitrary, and it would be unfair to claim that the varient spoken in Bavaria is not German, although it is pretty fucked up. For all I know, the speakers of Bayerisch may prefer to be separated from the official German language.

Someone said that the US and the UK are two countries separated by a common language. It might have been Churchill because he seems to be the kind of guy who said things like that, but it also could have been Johnny Rotten or Morton Downey Jr for all I know. Generally speaking, there is no real language barrier for me. Context is always important, and if you are a deft follower of context, then you should be able to sus out the jist of, say, "sus out the jist."

There are some terms, that while I understand their meaning, I really dislike. I've already described my dislike for words like blog and Comm Ave for Commenwealth Avenue in Boston. I've also described an aversion to intentional misspellings, but trust me, there are more.

The English love the word "do" as in Kate's leaving do and Willie's birthday do and Lucy's hen do. It means party, gathering, a festive joining of people (in the last instance, a hen do is a bachelorette party). I have no idea what the etymology of this word is and I don't really see how it relates to party, gathering or a festive joining of people. Perhaps it migrated from more traditional meanings of do or does, and intermingled with party. Either way, it just sounds dumb. "Why don't you come over on Friday, we are having a little do?" "A do?" "Yeah, a do." I make it a habit to stay away from functions that are described in that way. Maybe that is why I have such a scant social calendar in London.

I also dislike many forms to toilet paper that they use around here. Toilet roll is fine, but loo roll and bog roll are patently unacceptable. No real reason, it just sounds really informal. If one aspect of your day requires undue formality, it is going to the bathroom.

Having said that, there are a number of Americanisms that I truly dislike. For example, many backwater American's use the word "done" as an emphasis, as in "I done gone and fixed me up some chicken vittels," or "I done washed the jalopy." Nothing connotates inbrededness and under-education better than the way "done" used in this way does.

I should also say that I have a great love of many English-isms. Their enthusiastic use of words like brilliant, lovely and smashing are uplifting. The best part about these words is that Americans can use them too. I can exclaim "Smashing!" and no one would bat an eye. Something can be "Brilliant!" without causing an incident. Unfortunately, there are some terms that Americans just can't pull off. I can't describe myself as chuffed because I just can't form the word correctly. I sound like an American trying to sound English and that is the worst kind. I would sound just as ridiculous walking up and down the streets of Perth saying "G'day, mate" (I acutally don't know if Australians really say this) -- again, I'd just be an American trying to sound Australian.

In Germany, they appreciate my use of German (even though their English is better than mine), but they would no less cringe if I were to start dropping lines from Herbert Groenemeier or German cartoon sensation Werner than I would if they came to the US talking as though they had seen one episode of Def Comedy Jam and thought they got the jist of it.

Language is the key to understanding someone. What one talks about and how one represents himself gives real insight into that person. If you can pull of changing dialects, that is great, but it is much harder than you think. Language should come naturally and it shouldn't be forced. If it is, then you are speaking a foreign language. Keep it true to yourself -- call a party a party, a do a do, but call all bog roll toilet paper.

Coke vs Soda vs Pop

Pop vs Soda

This is one of the oddest things I have come across on the web in recent days. The differences in this great country astound me. If you travel from Chicago to Miami, you would start out asking for a pop, then as you travel through the south, you would ask for a Coke (no matter which fizzy drink you wanted), finally you would ask for a soda by the time you arrived in Miami.

I was going to name this entry From the Annals of Needless Research until I realised that the issues that have interested me academically are often described as needless, i.e. philosophy, to about 95% of the world. So, I validate the good researchers at the University of Oklahoma.

A great title

I've was looking up a Simpson's quotation earlier today. I couldn't find it though. It occurs in an episode where Grandpa, for some reason or another, keeps running afoul of these other Latino pensioners. They eventually end up drag racing in an allusion to American Graffiti. Abe and Homer win the race and the car with the elderly Latinos bursts into flames. The leader gets out of the car, his coat in flames, and his comrade says something like "Senor, your coat! She burns!" to which the man replies stoically, "If my coat burns, then I burn with my coat."

In any case, I came across the episode where Lisa has to get braces. It has dentist in the title and I thought of this great name, which I hope to use in my blog at one point or another.

A date with dentistry!

How great is that!

Destiny, dentistry! I kill me sometimes.

I did do a search on Google and if you search for a date with dentistry without any quotation marks, the phrase doesn't appear on the first screen. If you do a search with the quotation marks, there are two pages on the internet in which the phrase appears.

One is on a webpage called FunniGurl Kids Klub and shouldn't really be counted for myriad reasons, all of which have to do with stupid spelling. Funni should be spelled Funny; Gurl should be spelled Girl; and Klub should be spelled Club. That last one is particularly annoying because I believe there is a section of the KKK called the Kids Klub, so I'd steer clear. I'd check but I don't want the vigilant computer people in my office to see me searching out the KKK, especially since I work in an office dedicated to ending social descrimination.

The other is a link to another blog, titled Indecorous. This person apparently had a dentist appointment in July, 2003. As far as I am concerned, his blog hasn't been active for quite a while, so he forfeits his right to exclusive use. There has to be a statute of limitations on these types of things.

Also, I swear to you that it was penned by me without stumbling across it on the internet or by any other means. I may not be original, but I certainly am not a cheat.

So there.

Corrupting the Youth

I used to feel bad walking down the streets of London. With so many people about, it is difficult not to step on someone's foot or cut someone off every once in a while. But having lived here for nearly two years, those feelings have long since subsided. You can only care about someone's aching toe for so long. I'll even run into somebody and barely utter a word. It isn't that I'm a bad guy (in my opinion) but when you are walking down Oxford Street and there are more than a million people within a half mile of you it is a struggle to get down the street in any sort of timely fashion.

I've perfected the art of gliding down an escalator on the Underground and then abruptly stopping right on the back of someone who is standing on the left when they should be standing on the right. You get uncomfortably close and then they move. No need to say anything, but sometimes a well timed cough is a must. A year ago, I would have lingered around a couple of steps behind forever waiting for Joe Pennyloafer to move his tourist ass out of the way. Not any longer. Being on the cusp of rude is not being rude, and it is a cusp on which the English balance very well.

But today I was walking out of the train station and waiting to cross the road. As I approached the crosswalk, I noticed that there was a young boy, maybe six, with his mother, already waiting there. No cars coming, so who has time to wait for the green walking man? I crossed, and when I did, the boy followed me. I could hear his mother yelling at him across the road and when I turned around, there he was, right by my side.

I try my best to not corrupt the youth. I try not to swear around kids, to not speak of bawdy subjects in their presence (on a train, for instance), and I am usually very conscientious of -- you guessed it -- crossing the road near kids. I don't want to be the guy teaching kids a bad lesson, and this bad habit is something they should learn from other friends or their parents later in life. I am convinced that there comes a time in a child's upbringing when waiting at the cross walk with no other cars approaching is just a waste of time. It might be at that moment that parents realise that they can't be perfect parents. From then on out, it is a slow decline from slight social disobedience to destructive social malevolence, from jay-walking to grand theft auto.

The readers write!

Let me thank T for finally writing me a comment. And, I do feel validated. Let me also thank T for his/her wonderfully abstract name. Why bother with superfluous letters or numbers or symbols when all you need is a simple letter? We live in an online age where you can pretend to be somebody you aren't and build an online alter ego that is the antithesis of your real world ego. So, I applaud T for stripping all of that away. Who is T? I don't know, but the name T suggests someone who isn't interested in a moniker or a name plate. T invites you to read what s/he has to say because, brother, you ain't finding out from the name. S/he isn't following the path of, say, sExYjEsS15 who emailed me earlier on Friendster to ask if I wanted to be her friend. For all I know, T might be way sexier than sExYjEsS15, but to find out, you need to know him/her, because just as there is more to a book than its title, there is more to a person that the name.

The Games of the XXVIII Olympiad, part II and a General Update

I'm sure my regular readers (you know who you are!) are waiting in eager anticipation of my formal endorsement for President of the United States as well as other political races of local interest. They are on their way, so please stop harassing me about them.

Also, I got some overwhelmingly positive responses from my recent piece on the Games of the XXVIII Olympiad. I'll work on a second part installment, but after men's gymnastics, there has been little to comment on. We are finally kicking some international ass. Well, the unfortunate thing is that the US has kicked a little too much international ass of late, but at least this recent bout of ass kicking has multilateral support (well, maybe support isn't the right word because the rest of the world was trying to stop of from taking over the medal ceremonies, but you get the idea).

I will say that those Chinese keep one-upping us. When I got home last night, I saw the US win four medals (three gold and one silver over the course of three races), then we took a gold medal in women's gymnastics, and I figured that we would finally be up on top. No such luck. The pesky Chinese (yes, I've called 1.3 billion people pesky) are still managing to have one more gold than we do. Sure, we may be atop the leaderboard when it comes to total medals, but I think the Simpson's guide to Olympic ratings is right: beautiful gold, so-so silver and shameful bronze. Gold is all that matters.

I generally try not to be a chest thumping American (although I always do my best to defend the US from what I perceive as unjust and non-sensical criticisms) but there is just something about the Olympics that brings out that God-Bless-the-USA attitude in me.

I will say that I think the US will finally pull ahead of the Chinese once the athletics competitions begin, but the Chinese long distance women's team is a force to be reckoned with. I have confidence though.