Who owns my teeth?

I have just returned from a visit from my dentist. I've been treated by Diane at Anderson Dental for about 20 years. She's a very nice person who likes to talk a lot. She always is going over the time for the appointment because of her mouth. I get the same speeches every six months: make sure when you brush, you rub in circles not side to side, the standard flossing speech, etc. We get along well, but whenever I'm around her, I realise that I don't own my teeth.

She owns them. The mouth is the only part of the body that I don't feel any sort of ownership over. It is like I am just renting them for six months at a time. After that six months, the dentist calls me back in, assesses the damage I've done to her things and then bills me for it.

Everyone feels guilty at the dentist when she finds something wrong. Plaque? Ever heard of a toothbrush? Gingivitis? Can you be charged with dental neglect? Diane is just the hygenist. At the end of the appointment the DDS comes in to give his professional seal of approval (like the Lexus 100-point used car inspection guarantee). There is always that uncomfortable assessment of the patient.

Dentist: So, what have we got today?
Hygenist: There is some tissue swelling around number 13, anterior.
Dentist: Hmm, has he been brushing? (Remember, I'm sitting right there)
Hygensit: He might have been brushing side to side.
Dentist: Is this true, Mr. Davis? Well, I'll let Diane give you the talk again.
Exeunt Dentist
Hygenist: You should brush like this (she takes out the oversized mouth model and the comically large toothbrush and brushes in small circles.)

I don't feel guilty when I go to the doctor because of the flu (which I got after going six nights on two cumulative hours of sleep). Do balding men lose sleep knowing they have to wake up and face the barber because he lost the barber's precious hair? Do smokers feel guilty when they take their lungs in for a look-see only to be told they have cancer?

Of body bags and ball gowns II

After my vigilant posting that raised awareness of the funding for tsunami relief and the inaugural balls ($35 mil for the former, $40 mil for the latter) the administration has bumped up the relief money to $350 mil.

Good work, Brett!

Thank you, Brett!