Charles Barkely

Do you think he practices this at the range? www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuZPIVpxNtE

I've been out of the country for too long because I didn't know he had gotten so fat.

A Clinton Whitehouse

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of Hillary but target="new">this has some appeal.

Let's make more of an effort in our effigy making

I'm sure some of you have been following the Celebrity Big Brother racism row that has erupted across Britain and India. Jade Goody and others in the CBB house made some very inappropriate remarks about Bollywood actress (and bone fide celebrity) Shilpa Shetty.

Apparently, protesters in India are burning effegies of Big Brother executives.

Now, I always like a good effigy burning. Nothing expresses anger like the burning of a hastily thrown together flammable life-sized doll.

But, I think they should at least look kind of like a human. Not like this:



This image, courtesy of metro.co.uk looks like they are trying to burn an effigy of a oversized cartoon cigarette, not a television executive.




Here is an example of a good effigy.











You can clearly make out the distinguishing features of a human. The builders have even managed to add a hat, which is a nice touch and shows a keen eye for detail. By the way, this is an effigy of Malcolm Glazer (here's an anti-Glazer website and a bit more of a sober analysis can be found here).

All I'm saying is if you are going out in front of the world and making a serious point, you want to look presentable. At least make the head out of a stuffed pillow case.

There's an R in paraphernalia?

Isn't paraphernalia and odd word?

I mean, look at the way it is spelled... all of those A's! And where did that R come from?

Plus, all it means is stuff, or maybe stuff associated with stuff. You almost always use it in conjunction with drugs (e.g. drug paraphernalia) and when I say 'you' what I mean is reporters and the police.

The name Barbara

Where does the name Barbara come from?

Does it come from the word barbarian? That would be unfortunate.

Barbarian comes from the Greek word Barbaros, which means foreigner. The Greeks considered anyone who couldn't speak Greek to be a barbarian. Apparently, the Greeks could only make out bar bar bar from the ramblings of foreigners. Kind of like watching the Spanish channel and all you can make out is the name of some product, say Crest toothpaste or Fleichmann's margarine.

I suppose Barbara could come from a more pleasent definition of barbaros, simply "foreigner", and not the modern definition of barbarian, namely an uncivilised, uncultured, unwashed qwijibo.

The world may never know... unless it does know, which it apparently does.

Techno-cool or pathetic and boring?

It's Friday night and I'm sitting on my couch watching the Cubs beat the Milwaukee Brewers as well a watching Peter Ebdon take on Marco Fu in the Snooker World Championship. Both are streaming videos on my computer.

Does this make me a savvy sports fan, taking full advantage of the technological wonders of the 21st century? Or does it make me a guy sitting alone on his couch watching two sports most people think are pretty damn boring?

I suppose the correct answer is 'all of the above.'

But hey, I can be cool too: I'm also keeping an eye on Green Wing, which is on the TV in the background

Decamillenialus

Today is my decemillenialus, my 10,000th dailyversary, my 10k day. Today I am 10,000 days old.

It is one of those things that might very well have passed me by but a friend of mine, who celebrates his birthday about a month before me, invited me to celebrate his 10,000th day and I realised that mine was coming soon as well.

So, today I am having a little get together at The Spaniard's Inn in Hampstead, north London. I sent out a very sarcastic e-vite to some friends asking them to come along. The point of it really is to just get some people together and spend a lazy Sunday afternoon together.

I did get some guff from people telling me that 10,000 days isn't all that important because it isn't a milestone year. I think that is real bs. It has taken me more than 27 years 4 months to get this far. Most milestones come every couple of years. 10, 16, 21, 30, 40 etc. Plus, this is a big number!

Anyway, I'll let my loyal readers know how it went.


Technorati tags: Decamillenialus, Milestone

The morning run

Avid readers of this space will know that I like to run. And after months of saying I was going to do it, and days of almost doing it, I finally did it.

I ran to work.

I think it is about 4.75 miles. That isn't very far for me to run, well, it is a medium distance I suppose. During the week, I run anywhere from 2 miles in the winter to 5 miles in the summer. On the weekends, I run from 4 to 9 miles.

Normally, I don't have all of my work clothes strapped to my back, so adjusting to that took some doing. It was actually a bit easier than I was expecting. My back wasn't nearly as weary as I thought it would be.

I have learned some important lessons though. The first is to really get your clothes nice and tight on your back. It isn't very pleasant to have them bouncing side to side while you are trying to run forward. The second is to separate your shoes from your nice dress shirt in the bag. After my shower at work, I was a little disheartened to see scuff marks here and there across the front of the shirt where my shoes had been rubbing it. The third, and I can't confirm this as I haven't yet tried it but I suspect it is true, is to take side streets. Almost the entire distance was a cloud of choking fumes, and the smell coming off the back of a van carrying hot tar was especially nice at 7.30am.

I also need to hammer out the logistics of it all. How do I pack the bag, how much clothing should I keep at work, how do I keep the smell of my running clothes that I stuff into my bag and the end of the day from infiltrating my work clothes that I may pack the next morning? Disinfectant? Deodorizer? The possibilities are endless.

Technorati tags: commuting, London, Running

That's not nice

An anonymous commenter suggested that the activities described a couple of posts ago should be "reported in full" to a certain member of staff at my place of business.

Now, that is a perfectly legitimate comment to make, but I had to take it down because it uses somebody's name without their permission and I just don't think that is very nice. How would you like it, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, if I went around quoting your name every place I went?

I've also had to review my use of other organisational names and whatnot to which I am connected. I've decided to take those down as well. On the internet, a little bit of anonymity, as you Mr. or Ms. Anonymous will surely agree, is sadly both necessary and preferable.

The Masters: a dreary recap

Been trying to write something for the blog about this year's Masters tournament, and I can quite put my finger on my thoughts.

Basically, I was rather unimpressed by the whole event. Mickelson was kind of just around and ended up being the winner in the end. It isn't like he put forward some sort of herculean effort to pull it off. He was only ahead by two strokes most of the final round, yet he was all but assured victory by the time he hit the 13th tee. Why was that?

I'm not saying you have to decimate the field, ala Woods in 97(?), to be a true champion. But you have to admit that the most interesting contender was Olazabal, who managed to go from +3 to -5 in the span of sixteen holes (3rd round 17 - 4th round 15). It took Mickelson nearly four rounds to traverse the same distance.

I guess I don't value steady progress (Phil) as much as I do the late surge (Ola), but Phil's steady progress was just so ordinary. Hard to get excited about that.

Also, with all the complaining that has been going on about the relentless Tiger-proofing of Augusta National, I took a look at the PGA stats site to see who is hitting the ball so far. Turns out that there are 22 players from the 2005 PGA freshman class amongst the top 50 in driving distance and only 5 in the bottom 50. So, maybe they do have something to worry about.

Technorati tags: golf, The Masters, Phil Mickelson, Augusta National