Nadia in America

This is a letter that I wrote to Heather Havrilesky, television critic for www.salon.com. She is my hero in the world of television critics.

Dear Ms Havrilesky,

I'm not sure how much access you have to actual British television in the US but rest assured it does extend past The Office and Coupling to such topical fare as TVs Naughtiest Bloopers and The Man Who Ate His Lover. Most important in my life for the past ten weeks has been Big Brother 5.

I know your feelings on the US Big Brother and having seen the US version, I understand your feelings. It is not a guilty pleasure it just makes you feel dumb for watching. In contrast the UK BB is a pleasure to watch, especially this year. A great mix of almost-archetypes. There is the anarchist who was thrown off for, well, breaking the rules; the gangsta best known for singing I'll Make Love to You while humping the floor; a gay hairdresser with the disposition of a cool grandmother who is, deep down, really a snippy gay man; the fairy princess who mows the lawn while naked, a handsome guy who, on the outside world is part of a group of handsome guys named Team Handsome; a Scottish bodybuilder who entered the house wearing nothing but a thong but has since turned out to be a really miserable git (my choice to win, by the way); Nadia, a transsexual woman who, believe me, optioned for all the upgrades in her operation; and Ahmed, the inspiration of Ah-mania!, a 45 year old ex-asylum seeker who spent his time breaking plates, crying about how he wanted to leave and decapitating papier mache mannequins made from forms of the housemates various body parts. Oh, and he also tried to stage a military coup all by himself.

I know I am coming off as a fourteen year old girl when in actuality I am a 25 year old ex patriot living in London. I got into Big Brother here last year as a student as a way to wind down, and now I just can't get enough.

I was speaking to a co-worker about the various contestants and about the fact that Nadia is the odds on favourite to win. Personally, I find her annoying almost due completely to her laugh, and while I might be accused of being facile, I should remind you that this is only Big Brother and not, say, a presidential election where presidential laugh is only the third most important characteristic. But, to the point, I was thinking about how a Portuguese transsexual would play on American TV.

I imagine radio call-in shows inundated with statements like "I was forced to have a conversation with my 5 year old about this "woman" that I really didn't want to have. This kind of thing doesn't belong on television." I am certain there would be this discussion on at least one or two middle-America radio stations, but is this the kind of issue that would extend beyond the heartland?

Could Americans handle Nadia on one of the four major networks?

Plus, they cut The OC after seven episodes and it won't return until next year!

Sincerely,
Brett Davis